DeFrigNo! The Lasting Supper Problems reported by Pilots and Solutions noted by Aircraft Engineers in aircraft Technical Logs. When I spotted a Navy captain on the street, I saluted and bellowed, LST 395, which was the designation and number of the ship I served on during World War II. He snapped off a Halt! shouted our drill instructor. I was stationed in England with the Air Force when I went to a local barber. While serving as chief medical officer at Fort Ritchie in Maryland, I attended a nearby wedding. USN: Helos I was working in Army security when a VIP from another base called to ask to whom he should address an important letter. We know that there are hundreds and hundreds of military jokes out there. What kind of grades do you need to have in order to join the Navy? Rodrigues there? 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. 38. Rodrigues there? Whats the difference between a fighter pilot and a fighter jet? Gary Toohard. Then the sergeant announced that everyone would get a three-day pass except me. No one knows their way around sarcasm more than our U.S. troops. [Answered]. 1. (Sign over the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base Kadena, Japan). 3) The pen used by the military meets 16 pages of military specs. What happened Sergeant? Military Jokes and Humor stories have always amused and entertained. Each branch has its own traditional jokes that have caused a lot of laughing for many years. I would stay behind and neatly print each soldiers name onto his Army-issued underwear. If it doesnt move, pick it up. A cookie and a piece of cake joined the army, but eventually, they abandoned their fellow soldiers. Co-Pilot: What?!. 15. 6, 2 to cheer, 2 to fire the weapon and 2 to take pictures! The Soldier agreed, and when the Marine went to get his drink he started spitting in the Marines boots. March forth! We were marching to the chow hall when we spotted a pathetic-looking recruit standing at attention by a mailbox, a whole book of stamps plastered to his forehead. One started by saying, Okay smartass, which one is closer, the moon or Florida? The second responded by saying, Obviously its the moon you cant see Florida!. Collecting our many suitcases, the ten of us entered the cramped customs area. He would never get on my nerves, because he would always be gone. 11. On landing, the Stewardess said, Please be sure to take all of your belongings. When the plane was descending for the landing, the Marine put his boots back on and quickly realized the Soldier had been spitting in his boots. Take a look at the military jokes about the U.S. Marine Corps below to find some hilarious quips. It took the poor guy all day. 17. StrategyPage's Military Jokes and Military Humor. S | Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words. During the question-and-answer period, he was asked, How did you know the war was over? We were an Air Force family, but our son could not grasp that fact. The fighter jet stops whining once the engines are cut off. We were a tough group. I instantly knew I was in the right outfit when I looked around. He then added confidentially, Weve already been through three escorts. But my fears were put Our bases Army Exchange Service carried a particular brand of underarm deodorant that I liked and bought for years. 9. The instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with me, and then just raised a single eyebrow. The military may have invented the Internet, but not all government schemes have worked as well. Caller: Do you have his right number? USA: Choppers ", "Sir" she calmly answered, "if I'd had any of those items, I would have used them by now". No copyright required, as all content is freely available on 1,000s of websites. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. But yours is.. What did one panicking sailor say to the other? Aviation JOKES. Upon the Vietnam war's conclusion a lot of money was invested in creating the next class of aircraft. What do hungry Marines eat? In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminium going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose. ", Warren replied, "Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Joy fell out, but you know, fifty quid is fifty quid". The Pentagon announced that its fight against ISIS will be called Operation Inherent Resolve. Sidling right up to the student, the speaker shouted in his ear, What would you do for a patient in the event of a nuclear war? Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we landit's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern". One day, convinced he could improve things, he told the head cook, If you give me a My granddaughter's husband was complaining about how spellcheck changes the meaning of e-mails when an Air Force officer told him this story: Hed sent a message to 300 of his personnel addressed to Dear Sirs and Maams. It was received as Dear Sirs and Mamas. Phyllis Howard. Finally, exasperated the frog asked, "What is the matter with you? You seem in a good mood., He replied, Im paying a private to do all my worrying for me.. P | Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. This site contains affiliate links. When the sailor finishes up, he heads to the sink to wash his hands. The Scouts at least have adult supervision. Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Army territory Age: 57 Posts: 26 Likes: 0 Received 0 Likes on 0 Posts Good RAF Army Banter/Jokes As a new poster, I hope you can help me. He was holding a toothbrush, which he proceeded to use to scrub underneath the rim of Its important that soldiers learn from their mistakes; otherwise, theyre bound to repeat them at inopportune moments. Bad altitude. Why was the sergeant made when his son brought home an A in math? Max Stanley (Test Pilot) The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world It can just barely kill you, 31. On previous visits, she noted that women customarily walked about 5 paces behind their husbands. Jokes about crayon eaters and narcissistic Air Force personnel will never get old, though. Because hes a captain in the Air Force. Mother, As the general inspected our troops, he asked some of the Marines which outfit they were serving with. You might be in the Coast Guard if you claim to have every woman in the port, yet youre at an ashore unit. (Hang up. Navy Pilot: Were flying faster than the speed of sound! The Army will post guards around the building. However, the mood was brightened when he received a birthday cake from We were inspecting several lots of grenades. Corporal Wabo is a former Infantry Squad Leader with 3rd Bn 4th Marines that specialized in Mortars. Landings are mandatory. Pointing to the Airborne wings on my Army uniform, I explained, The last time someone gave me wings, I had to jump out of the airplane.. We made a private sweep all the sunshine off the sidewalks. Killed bin Laden. How do you know when your date with a fighter pilot is halfway over? The dog is there to bite the pilot if the man so much . He nodded. Full Disclosure Here. How much noise can we make up here? The U.S. Air Force chooses their hotels based on the stars. Why do members of the military often marry lovers from the foreign countries they were deployed in? I was standing watch when an old, run-down freighter named Sagar Moti passed by. The local band hired to greet them was playing a popular hit of the time, I Wonder Whos Kissing Her Now.. "Ah", the fighter pilot remarked "The dreaded Seven-Engine approach", 12. The average age of people living in our military retirement community is 85. The Marine took off his boots and began to stretch out. But before I could get out, he pointed to the other end of the building and said, The band entrance is that way. Gordon Van Otteren. Two thousand dollars a week, he replied. My friend, an Air Force officer, was riding his scooter when he passed an airman who didnt salute. Why did the optometrist set his clock to military time? Navy and CG Say HOOOOOYAH! The owner of this website does not guarantee offers on this site, and all offers should be viewed as recommendations only. !" Marine: "Wait, stop. Anyone wanting to take pictures on our bases airfield needs a letter from public affairs, which happens to be me. 27. 40. "It took us a while to find a new pilot." Why did the airplane get sent to his room? Sometimes I think war is Gods way of teaching us geography. No, we dont, she said. Youre standing in it, sir, said the sergeant. Sent a recruit to medical-supplies office in search of fallopian tubes Then came Dads ships turn. Do you have change for a dollar? All you dummies fall out. As the rest of the squad wandered away, I remained at attention. On-time Departure Cabin doors closed 15 minutes before scheduled departure time Subsequent delays are irrelevant. While on maneuvers in the Mojave Desert, our convoy got lost, forcing our lieutenant to radio for help. They throw out a pistol. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word, I will not charge you. Unfortunately, the sun was shining through a porthole right onto his face. P | Test flight OK, except autoland very rough. 4. Dario Leone is an aviation, defense and military writer. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. My friend kept asking what my military rank was, but I kept telling him its Private. Caller: Sgt. Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike? Trust us; we have plenty of those, too. Six Triple Eight Film by Tyler Perry Is Coming to Netflix, Havana Syndrome Still a Mystery, but Foreign Involvement Unlikely, After a Storied Career, Paris Davis Is Finally Receiving His Medal of Honor, Here are 200 Remote Jobs for Veterans in 2023. When a Navy fighter pilot saw this, he decided to approach the man and see what he was doing. As part of my Naval Reserve requirements at Emory University Dental School, I attended a talk about proper dental procedures following nuclear warfare. Takeoffs are optional. February 24, 2023 Two B-52s Fly Over Tallinn For Estonia Independence Day Military Aviation February 23, 2023 F-35C . My friend stopped, turned around, and glared at the airman. There was bound to be trouble, and I was right, because suddenly, he fell silenteyebrows arched, brain overloaded. Of course, he responded. Pointing to the My husbands cousin married a former Marine who now works for United Parcel Service. I thought you had to be in relatively good shape to join the Marines.. We are currently looking for former Marines to join the team who are interested in writing about tactical gear, survival gear, hiking supplies, etc. Anecdotes 1. ", 55. Thats why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship. . I was instructing new recruits when an officer entered my classroom to observe and report on my teaching style. Im 81 years old, he answered. I met his wife and baby and was impressed that he had all his flight gear During KP duty, my sergeant ordered me to prepare 100 gallons of soup for that nights dinner. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made. Aeronautical Humor. They are the ones protecting us at all times from external threats. WARNING: Tons of dad jokes lie ahead. As an Amazon Associate, I earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you. Everything from puns to some sarcastic one-liners are included in the Army jokes below to crack on an Army member you know and love. If at least ONE military joke below doesnt make you giggle, well, wed be concerned. I was awakened late one night by a phone call from nearby Fort Meade, in Maryland. Whats the main mission of the Marine Corps? What do you call a Marines with an IQ of 160? Once during target practice, an unmanned drone flew past an antiaircraft cruiser. Soon after arriving at basic training, we were marched to the base barbershop, where we were told wed find a clipboard with our names on it. Did it work? The sailor calls out and says, In boot camp, they taught us to wash our hands after taking a leak. The Marine replies, In our boot camp, they teach us not to piss on our hands.. These military jokes about the United States Air Force are a mixed bag. Aircraft Carriers Airshows Aviation History Aviation Humor Books Civil Aviation Cold War Era Drones F-14 Tomcat Helicopters Losses/Aviation Safety MiG Killers Military Aviation Space SR-71 Blackbird SR-71 Top Speed U.S. Navy Warbirds Weapons Yearly Summary. Auld Lang Slice Sometime later, when the examination was Coffee tastes better if the latrines are dug downstream from an encampment. They want their patients to see 20:20! What do you call a group of kids who enlists in the military? Whats the worst thing you could say to insult a Marine? What does ARMY mean to you? 100+ WW2 Trivia Questions For HistoryBuffs, 17 Military Personnel Talk About The Creepiest Thing Theyve Seen OnDuty, 100+ Scary Stories to Read in the Dark to Leave You With Chills[2021], A Writers Diary Entries From Mid-April,1986, 30 Spooky Paranormal Stories From Former MilitaryPersonnel, You might be in the Coast Guard if people have looked at you and said, The Coast Guard is part of the military?, You might be in the Coast Guard if your child points to the ship and says, Thats where my parent lives!, You might be a Coastie if you head an HH-65 and. Some of the jokes on this list I first read and on their websites. Turn it off and watch the pilot start sweating. What did the Navy dentist put on his license plate? The optimist invests the aeroplane and the pessimist invents the parachute. He nodded. She has a Bachelor of Arts in English from the University of Alabama in Huntsville. Then one day I couldnt find it. He had noticed that, for the umpteenth time, a recruit kept going to his right on a left command. ", The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Browse the list below to find a funny joke to tell one of your buddies. St. Civilian casual tees are absolutely unacceptable. Return to Humor Index. Where is your foxhole, Lieutenant? I asked. There are so many funny military jokes and jabs out there so it took me a while to compile a list of only the best. Why Do We Celebrate It? An Army Drill Sergeant took some recruits the the mess hall. Discussion Board on this Military Joke. Military Jokes March to the beat of your own drum with these military jokes. Caller: Is Sgt. Basically, if you click on a product link on this site and buy that product we get a small commission at no extra cost to you. A tank ran over a bag of popcorn and apparently, two kernels were killed! Why? I asked. The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy. It was our first day on the rifle range at Lackland Air Force Base. Anytime someone asked what his father did, hed say, Hes in the Army. I told him umpteen times, Stop telling people Im in the Army! It finally seemed to hit home because on the admittance form for kindergarten, under fathers profession, the teacher wrote, He doesnt know what his father does, but hes not in the Army.. The military has a long, proud tradition of pranking recruits. 4. Kassidy Barber is the Assistant Editor for VeteranLife.com and MyBaseGuide.com. While waiting every one will come by multiple times except yours, 62. Reliable sources report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds. What do hungry Marines eat? There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane, 20. Sure enough, a few weeks later, I lost my key. Air Force Says OKEY DOKEY?. I met his wife and baby and was impressed that he had all his flight gear neatly laid out on a table. Its important that soldiers learn from their mistakes; otherwise, theyre bound to repeat them at inopportune moments. Why doesnt the Army team have ice on the sidelines during football games? All images on our website are the property of their respective owners. Explaining the use of the controls to a student "If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger, if you pull the stick back they get smaller. The danger of incident is no jokein 1985, a Japanese 747 airliner lost its tail midflight and plummeted into a mountain, killing 520 in the deadliest aircraft accident involving just one plane . Known to bicker and make fun of each other often, its likely that those in the military have a good sense of humor. Military jokes! All of a sudden, a lieutenant pulls up, hops out, and asks Is your car stuck sir?, The general climbs out, hands his keys over, and slides into the lieutenants car before saying, Nope. Rather than move, he called the bridge: Hey, he said, can you shift the ship 15 degrees? I served in Japan, said Uncle Sid. A military captain saying I was just thinking Me: Still the wrong number. Stay out of clouds. I was standing watch when an old, run-down freighter named Sagar Moti passed by. We are directly under the moon.. The soldier immediately sat down and began digging through his rucksack. Forty years later, Dad met the man responsible, and he told him how impressed he had been. Laugh or cringe but please enjoy. Home Blog 14 Funniest Military Jokes Ever (2022 Edition). During basic training at Fort Leavenworth, our sergeant asked if anyone had artistic abilities.