This will enable you to stay focused and prevent you from giving in to temptation. However, we did talk about it; and he truthfully would have been so embarrassed to call and ask his mom (or my parents) to drive me to the hospital if need be, because he wouldn't feel comfortable driving. Most of the responses ignore the real issues, blame it on men being stupid, or just excuse his behavior. -Amy, At 3am, I decided it was time to go and my husband said he was getting up to get ready. I gotta say my husband was good in the delivery room, but I have a whole piece written up about the birth of our 1st, which includes a lot more crap he pulled like hitting every pot hole on the way from out apt to the hospital in Midtown but its way longer than a blog post & when I tried to publish it no one was interested. I was also in the middle of a contraction when he said that. (I am not worried about a ride though because we have a ton of family and friends that could take me in a pinch.). (Hopefully it won't have to go there but if the nice and logical angle doens't work you may have to come on a little strong) IMO. He said okay, proceded to go hook up the horse trailer, load his horses and tell me that he was going to a branding. Or a little bit of both? All I am saying is that it will probably work itself out in the end. When we face problems we cannot solve, we work on someting we can. My husband was awesome! -Amber, My husband made me wait for him to finish watching Gladiator after my water broke. She gets anxiety from any surgery, so her anxiety was high. This consultation should happen long before a manager is faced with a worker who might be drunk on the job, she said. I spent the entire time in the hospital alone. It wasnt my normal doctor and she didnt believe me when I said that my four weeks early baby was estimated at around 9lbs 14 OAS two days prioryeah, I have huge kids, no gestational diabetesanyway So, she ignored that and made me incisions too small and couldnt get the baby out, despite the epidural it was PAINFUL and after ten minutes of yanking (not kidding) and vacuuming and RIPPING MY INCISION TO THE SIDE, I was screaming and crying. I was panting when he turned and yelled at me why cant you get to four. The midwife explained it at the hospital as the baby was born less then 30 minutes later. I HAVE to join in here. I had just done the majority of the labouring at home, in silence, (Because apparently Im now a Scientologist) not wanting to bother the pissed irresponsible husband and he was a little bit tired? In the car, everything was very annoying to me: the radio, the sound of my husband at the time talking on the phone, just everything. I mean PISSED. It just would not be a good situation for DH to be drunk in the delivery room. lol. All. It is also important to seek professional. He thinks he's being 110% supportive, and says he will, but just drinking when I could go into labor any day is NOT supporting IMO. I had nothing with me when we went in, I didnt even consider the chance that I would be having a baby that night. I waited in the car while my husband went in 5 minutes go by 10 minutes 15!!!!!! This will help you keep them out of trouble and save you from embarrassing situations. Can I Use Soju Instead Of Sake; Kentucky Sheriff Vehicle Inspection Fayette County I dont find I get the opportunity to maintain the rage nearly as much as I once did. When it comes to how to live with an alcoholic husband, try not to make any major decisions without getting input from your spouse or partner first. So, he took a nap. Raspberry leaf tea is supposed to help with uterine contractions, reported Pregnancy, Birth & Beyond, though there's some contradictory evidence as to whether or not it . Once emergency responders had arrived and . My husband made the list! So this guy was supposed to NOT eat. I remember thinking . Living with an alcoholic husband requires a lot of patience, courage, and the support of people around. He then drank some juice and couldnt hold my leg while I pushed because he was still a little shaky. You probably will NEVER be in that much pain but if you are, I sincerely hope you remember what you said! -Anne, When the nurses asked how bad the pain was from 1-10 and I said 10, my husband said oh, come on it cant be that bad. Have you ever told him that? Nothing until we got home. With this next one, were doing a home birth, so no monitors, but I still anticipate him being so busy talking that hes not really focused on me. It was our first child. Nipple Stimulation. Carol, Id love to know what you did to him between baby 3 and baby 4! She thought it might go away. My husband decided the ideal time to invite his parents into the labor & delivery room was when I was laying spread eagle, everything out for the world to see, being stitched up by the doctor after our son was born. Hubbys problem is that he likes to talk. When the July 14, 2012 due date of Gainesville, Florida resident Melissa Hoh came and went, her husband's friends told him about a news story they'd read in 2006 about three women going into labor . Just have a rational, heart to heart talk to him when he is not stressed out. Men dont get it because the dont know what we go through with our bodies. You need to have a serious talk with your DH. Stand with them and help them overcome it. And yes, I actually fix my hair. He cracked jokes the entire time, including asking my medical team (all women in masks) what they were making in woodshop. And in the US, up to thirty-eight million people have an alcohol addiction at some point in their lives. To this day I cant even enjoy an episode of Duck Dynasty without wanting to smother him. -Kate, Right after my c-section, my husband asked the nurse in the recovery room if he could just lay down on the floor, saying I promise I wont be in the way. Having. Who knows..just having a baby may wake him up and realize that there are more important things to stay sober for. After our first they were sewing me up from some tearing. No matter how many times this joke-cum-legend is passed off as a recent tale, nothing will . Not all men are alcoholics, or would make these choices, so stop generalizing all men to excuse your own husband's behaviour and choices (and your own choices to stay with him). Dear Amy: I am 63 and my husband (of six years) is 67. He then moved to the toilet to puke some more before I yelled at him that hed better get the hell out of there because I needed it NOW. Nausea and vomiting, diarrhea, and an overall feeling of being unwell. Eileen, My husband went duck hunting and forgot to charge his cell phone. The following is an exclusive excerpt of Goodbye, Sweet Girl: A Story of Domestic Violence and Survival, a new memoir by Kelly Sundberg (available June 5). Try to apeal to the protector in him and let him know how much you need him there. So not only did my husband eat an Indian take-away while I was in the throws of labour, he told me my hair looked a mess. April 2011. A few hours post-surgery I started having a strong adverse reaction to the epidural which included profuse sweating, intense itching and hallucinations. Well of course the pain increased dramatically and the nurse, watching the monitor, kept commenting on it soothingly, so I figured hubby was right there with me. The only way to stop this from happening is to let your husband know that, you wont tolerate any unacceptable behavior. When a child is born, act up, misbehaves, it is still our child. -Jessica, My husband unabashedly complained about a canker sore while I was in labor. -Meredith, My husband had ONE job, ONE. First baby: Yes. ? Camera. I never left my wifes side while she gave birth. I turned to my husband and asked him to grab me a snack out of our bags. These are only a few of the symptoms that a person may have a problem with drinking. Promote a faster and healthier labor. The nurse had him switch out for my best friend and he scooted over to sit next to me on the bed and just as a nurse pushed a trash can in front of him he proceeded to PUKE LOUDLY next to me on the bed while I was in transition! -RealMomofNJ, Mine kicked me out of the car in the ambulance bay 9cm dilated with my bag and left me to traipse across the hospital and up two flights of stairs on my own because he didnt want to pay for hospital parking. When she left, my husband says to me, very sweetly and earnestly, Ive had many epidurals, and I just want you to know, it doesnt feel ANYTHING like a bee sting. but this isn't just within my relationships i'd say it's with friendships and working environment - REALLY envy those that have any guts to say what they feel. I am not saying what your DH is doing is right, in fact, I think 5 drinks every night is a bit heavy and you should talk to him about it. Some places test moms for COVID-19 at 36 to 38 weeks or before they undergo a C-section, while others don't test at all or do it when a case of the virus is suspected. Pet Behavior. When I was born my Dad was on a fishing trip. Your water better not break on my leather seats!. Im sure his parents saw far more than they ever hoped to see, and Ive never let him live it down. Also, per Davidson, never, ever wear open-toed shoes to the hospital. Someone who drinks 5 drinks a night to "unwind" after work and is defending that decision in the face of being incapacitated for their pregnant wife has a drinking problem. While have contractions at home with my 1st child ( it was around 6pm and my contractions were coming every 5min) my husband called up to me from down stairs (I was on all 4s at this point) asking if I was hungry and he was going to order an Indian take-away. He will not only miss the labor, but likely years of your child's life due to alcohol related disability or death. Your H has a serious drinking problem, you enable him, you are having a baby who will be left alone with this man, and all you are worried about is getting to the hospital? He came back to the hospital with a thong. . At that point I told him that if I were to go into labor and he was drunk he WOULD NOT be there for the birth of our baby. He did much better the second time. Telling my sister that if we needed her, to call the house where he would be at and someone would give him a message, since he didnt think the baby would be born for quite a while. He ran away because he said he had business at work he had to attend to. My hero. All I can think of is - How in the world did you get pregnant? Heres the thing. Jack Morley, the giant baby, was born just after 8am. That was a mistake. Yep, I was 8.5 cm when we checked in to the hospital). It was 4am when I decided to wake up my husband (this was 2 hours after dealing with the labor on my own) and I told him its getting so much stronger now. Even if this method doesn't work, it's a great way to relieve stress and keep your body strong for the . Yeah, you know, cause he was the one up since 5 am working on pushing a 10 pound baby out of his body. Normally, contractions begin before the water breaks. I made breakfast. So I stand behind some, I never said all, of these comments are just bitchy. Allison Leonard/Ilona McCarty. I went into labor while he was sitting in the bay, alone in a boat. The worst you could do is take the place of a professional and try to look for solutions to cure it. Then I asked him to wake our 3-year-old and get him ready for daycare. After 30 hours of labor, it was time to go to the hospital and my husband informs me that he needs to run across the street to get his hair cut and I have the number if I need him. He told me later he was definitely buzzed but me waking him up was the most sobering thing ever. And then figured hed take care of some business while he was on the line. When I kicked it off and yelled at him to get whatever was touching me off, he responded with its just a magazine. She said she would kill me if i left or fainted so, yeah, i was there for her..lol, I wouldve called my nurse in and asked her to slap him! My hubby is a talker, too. Soon enough he gets a call from his mother asking how the delivery is going. Delivery type: Vaginal that progressed to C-section. You are not going to want to have this conversation, but you have to. There is no scientific proof to show that drinking alcohol can help in inducing labor. Not during labor, but our almost 10 pound baby ended up in the NICU for low oxygen saturation. Imagine youre married to an alcoholic husband who drinks daily and beyond the limit, only to create a nuisance later. Or speaking to each other in limited statements, such as Jack just shat his pants or the toilet is blocked. Seriously. This has nothing to do with "men being stupid". Reach out to rescue them only when they seek out help. Exercise. Sure, hopefully, the baby will change everything, but you still need to speak up to help him see the problem with this behavior and offer to support him as he works to change it. This was compounded by the fact I went from water breaking to transition skipping the first four stages of labor ( I couldnt even talk). People with drinking problems do no slow their drinking down just "because" nor do they consider how their drinking will affect the other people in their lives. Copyright 2009-2023 Creative Skirt, LLC. Mine wasnt nearly as bad as these more just funny. He was about 4 minutes from the hospital but after 20 minutes he stillhadnt shown up. It was league night, after all. this is fantastic!! It also gives you a sense of control and confidence when you are working with your husband or partner on recovery. . I cleaned the house again. Look at some of the comments and then talk about stupid. In the worst case, you would also want to avoid the situation as much as you can. -- A pregnant doctor unexpectedly went into early labor while delivering another woman's child. Thank you! Its never easy to be with an alcoholic husband, but these things can surely help. If that doesn't work,I have two thoughts. He didnt answer, because he was ASLEEP since hed been working so hard. Hiding bottles or drinking secretly so that family will not know what . Upon completion of said EP, he gave it to the neighbor. Also I agree with a pp that it should be a conversation on the weekend or when he's realaxed and preferably sober. More than that is considered heavy drinking, and as previously stated 5+ on any one occasion is considered binge drinking. What does his choice of alchohol have to do with it? Sharing your thoughts and feelings with your spouse can help both of you cope with the emotional effects of recovering from addiction. He came home around 5 when my contractions were about 2 minutes apart and proceeded to watch tv and eat dinner. Here . Fine. Get Mommy Shorts updates sent directly to your inbox! From funny to divorce-worthy to I-would-totally-understand-if-your-husband-turned-up-dead,here are 28 of my favorite examples of Crap Husbands Pull While Their Wives are in Labor. We didnt go to bed until midnight. Hoping to cure the problem. With my 1st son, my husband wanted to take a shower before we left for the hospital. And when they do, take them to the professional instead of trying to make things right on your own. Speak to them when theyre sober and discuss setting a limit to it. He said hed save me a few slices for later. The one thing that you would do at this point is go into denial mode. I know the tone has gotten pretty intense, but it shouldn't interfere with the central message: the behavior you're describing in your husband is binge drinking, and the more often he does it, the worse off your family will be. When Orbalina Miranda went into labor with her third child at 4:30 a.m. on Tuesday, she left her two children asleep in their beds, in a relative's care, and headed to Brookhaven Memorial Hospital . It sounds like you and your H are both in denial (as apparently are a few other posters on this thread). Why do I remember the date so well? Would you trust him to drive? Then just before we were about to leave for the hospital, he looked at me and said, are you really going with your hair looking like that? . 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When it comes to dealing with an alcoholic husband in denial, speaking to them about the issue in length seems a better option. The longer you hide your head in the sand the bigger the issue will get. Guess who is going to be taking care of the baby all night through? Medicated: Yes. She all but collapses into my arms exhausted to the point she couldn't even walk to the bedroom. Yesterday, my husband got drunk at his family's cookout. Dad learned something very important about the fathers role in childbirth that day. Amen. I feel bad that he lost his phone, but why was he throwing it in the kitchen sink? I stayed at home as long as I could (we live 5mins drive from the hospital). My husband was incensed and, since he was standing next to my head, diagonal from the doctor, he leaned across me and said, gritted teeth, you will get my son out of my wife without hurting him or her any further or we will OWN THIS HOSPITAL, you fucking stupid bitch. Then he gets home and wants a couple more glasses of wine. Dont come to me saying look what your child did. It is always our child. that actually is true, no one under a certain age . this was his fourth child. It was also Boxing Day so during labour, he complained that there was nothing on TV. I am starving and not allowed to eat so I order him out of the room. Youre not to take it and should face it with confidence. Around 2am, I heard the scraping of a badly manoeuvred BBQ onto the deck and felt my husband flop down beside me into the bed. The. Im not sure where to start with my story and it has been 20 years and fresh in my mind. According to the World Health Organisation, around 2% of adults globally have a drinking problem thats over one billion people! My darling husband looks at me tenderly and askes So, when do you want to have the next one? 48 hours of 7 to 10 minute contractions and sent home from the hospital twiceyeah, I almost punched him in the face. Thanks for the laughs though!