If they insist that they are bad at replying, you should unfollow them, because you are bad at following people who are bad at replying. Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on July 30, 2020: Yes, this is a very witty, funny article. I don't want to give off the wrong impression.". Im a wreck of a human being, thats why! I hate looking at my life and seeing that some of the people that are most important to me aren't here anymore! It's best to say when you're in a horrible situation, like in a class you can't stand. Or, "Happy and content, thanks for asking. Id hug and kiss you if you were single, just like me. Im a little busy right now, but Id love the chance to ignore you some other time. Nowadays, potential mates need money. 8. 62. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. No one loves superheroes. Holy s**t, you can see me?! As a result, they were so fixated on thinking about you, they forgot to reply to you. This one gets to the point of what they want to know, it's humorous, and it makes ya think. Did someone leave your cage open? What to say when your crush asks how you are? 7. I firmly believe that a romantic relationship is a huge distraction. For some reason, some people think that not texting back is cool. But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. Joshua Burns, "Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men." This is one of those worst epic responses to I love you makes us feel for the poor love-struck fellow. Listen, maybe your crush really did lose their phone. If you've been stuck inside doing chores and homework all day, and your parents ask you how you are, what response do they expect? Id punch you in the face, but the thought of touching your face disgusts me. Ill get back to you tomorrow when the results are in. I favour the "How am I what?" 15. It doesn't mean that you don't actually take showers. 5 Opening Texts She HAS to Respond To (And Why) 1) "Hey, it's that really charming, irresistible guy from last night" 2) "How's your week looking? 7. 93. It's best part of the whole movie. If you like me, send them while Im alive. Brian Clough (football team manager), I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. Clarence Darrow (lawyer), Millions long for immortality who dont know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Susan Ertz (author), In this world, nothing can be certain, except death and taxes. Benjamin Franklin (inventor), Life is hard. So, ditch the mechanical responses and adopt the witty and fun replies to keep the conversations exciting! For your information, Im in a relationship with food. When you're mad, but don't want to ruin your impression, this is a nice way to reply to your crush or match. I'm wondering how you are. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." Physically? The data will take longer to reach Earth than it would if it was sent from someone on Earth. My standards are higher than what Ive seen lately. Steven Wright (comedian), "What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death." My bad, its just your mouth. If you're taking a vacation and staying home, your clients or coworkers may still expect you to pop into the office and answer their emails. 1. Was that comment meant to offend me? Do you ever find yourself getting annoyed with yourself because you just thought of an awesomely good comeback to something someone said earlier? Not so much. 10. My bed only has enough room for me and my dog. Your email address will not be published. You win the internet. I am better on the inside than I look on the outside. You should eat some of that makeup, so you can be pretty on the inside. You don't need to miss them, because you are willing to travel to them, and kiss them. When you show them how you're not affected by them at all, that's when your comedic skills become the best and make others laugh as well. (This line came from the cartoon show. Reply. What a miracle. I dont chase them just to satisfy my sexual desires. I repeat I am plural! But it can be funny. Its good to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. People will often tell you Im too busy to text you back. 41. [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. "It's your ego that wants to lash out," Winter tells Bustle. Because youre highly qualified. a fate worse than death." Id love to insult you, but you probably wouldnt understand. Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. Things can't get much better and you want the world to know. "I am doing good, thank you" is basic, and you can do better than that! The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Maybe they had a giant project at work and lost contact with all their friends and loved ones. There is no gray area (<brain matter joke): either you are brain-dead or you are not. Voltaire (philosopher), "As you get older, three things happen. 4. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. Grab a few of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and youll be ready to win any argument. Still, the ghosters ghost on. Sure isnt my pay, Im still pretty broke. Best 45 seconds of my life. I had promised myself I would murder the next person who asked me that question. 90. In such a case, if you are unavailable to communicate with new clients right away, you can use auto responses instead. Then I hope you find someone whos good looking, honest, smart, and cultured. Is everything stable at your end? By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. 69. For instance, a friend will be amused when you sarcastically reply, Not today, Satan! However, I need to take you back about 12 years to answer that question. (Explained). If its better than yours Ill chalk it up as a win. I think it's a great response when you're possibly feeling cranky. Do you really care? As geeky as it is, this funny response to I love you has got to make you chuckle. 18. There is nothing wrong with responding with a funny or witty remark if youre getting annoyed with repetitive questions. So, you changed your mind? Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. I've Been Thinking About You Too They might not be with you right now, but they will always be on your mind. What's your sign? I plead the fifth. It takes a specific kind of person to ghost someone its really not that hard to send a quick Im not interested text but rest assured, they exist. I'm loved! At minding my own business? You are waiting for their reply, and they should be aware of this. He's jokingly texting if you're ok. Are those space pants? So, it might be wise to double-check theyre still alive before you complain. But, as soon as we feel better, that person no longer serves their purpose. 24. Wondering How You Are 1 I'm Better on the inside than I Look on the outside This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. 70. Do you like nature, despite what it did to you? I'm glad to know that you're alive.". Have a nice life." This text is excellent because you are making him or her feel guilty about ghosting you. You might just find one. . Someone took their costume way too seriously. I hate to break it to you, but Im not single. There's no reason why you should have to express emotions to whoever asked. Feeling confident? This one is a bit depressing, which is why you should watch when you use it. Funny Response to "What Are You Doing?" "I cry." Humor is about creating surprises. Its not my choice, but its still a choice. [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room]. They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. I agree, thanks for sharing. Why would you talk to someone at their convenience when they wouldnt speak to you when you needed them.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_2',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_3',106,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-106{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Rita Rudner (comedian), "When I die, I want my body to be donated for research, but more specifically, to a scientist who is working on bringing dead bodies back to life." My favorites were: "I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my toenails." "I'd rather be in hell with both arms cut off." He was an angry, creative man. I dont tell you how to live your life, dont tell me how to live mine thanks. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual." It might seem like a joke, but this is what I think. She works wit more, Harini Natarajan , Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Expertise: Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty more. Average, I think, that sounds about right. Dont get caught with nothing to say. This one could be a funny or cute response to sorry for a late reply, based on how they take it. I like being single. Your relationship status is your business alone (and your partners, if you have one). All you have to do is save this page, or commit to memory some of our favorite insults from the following list, and youll be all set. 7. Mentally? Suppose you're about to join a group when they stop by and ask if you want to join. Youll go far someday. Spiritually? When I eat cake, I flip it upside-down just so I can lick the icing off the plate! For example, if it is a friend, you can be funny or witty. I only went to the gym four times instead of my usual five." Sarcastic response: "Yeah totally. Living an amazing dream. Hope this status quo persists for the rest of the day.". Sometimes, it can be hard thinking on your feet, especially when youre joking around with your friends or in the midst of a heated exchange. Socrates (philosopher), "The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated." Its a shame you cant Photoshop your personality. I thought you already knew you were a sociopath. You may also like: 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. He sold it to me on his deathbed. Now you can be! Once youre dead, youre made for life. Jimi Hendrix (musician), Death will be a great relief, no more interviews. Katharine Hepburn (actress), Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men. Herodotus (historian), You know youre old when the candles cost more than the cake. Bob Hope (comedian), Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them. EW Howe (author), There are more dead people than living, and their numbers are increasing. 52. Do I look like someone whos into cheesy things like romantic relationships?! If you don't want to explain how you're feeling, then don't. | Are you surviving? Haha basically a sassy way to say, "I'm still alive." Thats because Im like the last slice of pizza. Better inside than outside. 97. This one is a bit long. I havent found anyone who matches my kinks yet. The next time the cat gets your tongue, heres a big list of good, witty, nasty, funny sarcastic and clever comebacks for every conversation, no matter where you are! It's Okay. Steven Wright (comedian). Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. 3. See more ideas about maxine, bones funny, funny quotes. I am the hurricane setting fire to the forests at night when no one else is alive or awake however you choose to see it and I live in my own flames sometimes burning too bright and too wild to make things last or handle myself or anyone else and so I run. Do you want the short or the detailed version? How did you get here? Alternatively, you can let them know you are doing well but still need time to process your emotions. Im not single. Dont wake me up yet. What an impertinent question to ask a girl! Because it sounds like some kind of automated message. Let them know that you're itching to go on a date. Its more likely that theyre just being a bad friend. Well, Im hoping its going to get a lot better, I cant lie. can be tackled in some really interesting ways. Taco Tuesday is pressure enough, I tell you! Funny as phuck. The government? How do you want me to be? 18. How do you get it to curl out of your nostrils like that? I'm afraid I can't do that. 48. Here's a 13-second video explaining how Jennifer Lawrence uses this Surprise Theory: Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. 350 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. There is not always a need to be so funny, witty, or clever. 14. Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. If youre going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. Overwatch 2 Friendly Reminder To Leave a LIKE & SUBSCRIBE, ThanksJoin this channel to get access to perks:https://www.youtube.com/cha. So, it might be wise to double-check they're still alive before you complain. Of course, you don't want to brag, which is why this funny line is useful. Save it for your best friend, but avoid using it on your teacher. Great, because my name wasnt in todays obituaries. Thats why Im rooting for your penis. Unlikely, but worth a shot. Theres too much Ghostbusters texting potential to not take advantage of the pun-tastic opportunity. And it's time for me to make my escape. 30. Ive had worse. This is the perfect time for you to become a missing person. When they play it cool, play it ice cold. 92. Getting into a romantic relationship with someone may seem like a good idea, but so was getting into Titanic. I always root for the little guy. Hope you're well". Could have been worse, right. I dont go around asking how youre still married, do I? Who knows, maybe you can steer a conversation in a more intriguing path. You should really come with a warning label. Make sure you give witty responses only to persons close to you, or you know they wont get offended by such responses. Check-in later and well find out if I did or not. Because nowadays, the industry prefers singles over albums. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?". Now, I understand why some animals eat their young. Awwits so cute when you talk about things you dont understand. Brilliant! I mean, no matter how amazing our lives are, there's always something to complain about. Hopefully, youll stay there. Good luck feel free to drop me a comment below if you have any funny responses I should add to the list, and do let me know if you get any memorable responses back. Your secrets are always safe with me. 64. 50. 5. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. This does not seem right. Not everybody may appreciate them. You were a young man when you last spoke. Is it your job to spread ignorance? . [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]. 68. If your crush asks you how you are, you might as well be honest. - Anonymous. 3. Firing back with something a little funny or witty will make them take notice! You don't need to say it. is willie rogers of the soul stirrers still alive; cal berkeley football recruiting questionnaire; american housewife cancelled. 83. It's quite the accomplishment. The living are getting rarer. Eugene Lonesco (playwright), Dying is easy; its living that scares me to death. Annie Lennox (musician), If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button. Sam Levenson (humorist), Ive looked that old scoundrel death in the eyes many times but this time I think he has me on the ropes. Douglas MacArthur (general), Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. Wilson Mizner (playwright), The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades, especially if your teammates are bad guessers. Demetri Martin (comedian), I intend to live forever or die trying. Groucho Marx (comedian), Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it. William Somerset Maugham (author), The art of dying graciously is nowhere advertised in spite of the fact that its market potential is great. Milton Mayer (author), At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. So perhaps the issue is not that they are taking a long time to reply. 32. She is a Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner from The Priority Academy and has over 17 years of experience in content writing and editing for online media. Whether you're in the jury or on the witness stand or on trial yourself, it's a tense and nail-biting environment. Nice and dandy, like cotton candy. After all, every single day that you're still alive is a good day overall. Same thing youre doing, talking to you now. I was gonna try #6 "Any finer I'd be China." If you've ever worked in an office, used municipal buildings or lived in a city, chances are, you already know what public notices are bland, dull, usually complaining and rarely funny posters that tell us somewhat useful information about all kinds of things. I'm so sorry I expected you to acknowledge my existence after hanging out? I just woke up like that one day. No, I'm Finnish. You don't want to give the same, bland answer all the time. Well, Im married to our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. Click here for additional information. Is my relationship status a joke to you?! via: Pexels / George Pak. Thats because my husband/wife wont let me date. Things could be worse I could be you (for siblings ). (bonus points to you if you sing it). 31. Liked what you just read? Here's one to use when you're having a spectacular day. Lets just say if I was a Pokmon, my ability would be Oblivious., Listen, that feeling we call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. 2. Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited. Because a single-storey is much more economical than a double-storey. Thats the biggest joke Ive heard recently. Opposites attract, right? Thats because the person I like doesnt like me back. If you are not happy being single, then you will never be happy being in a relationship. You are shocked by his/her response, and you respond angrily "but what about me?". No, not really. Living a life of suppressed rage, emotional imbalance, and denial. 99. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. Playful and sassy dig, then blocked. (Heres What To Do), Roommate Sleeps in Living Room All The Time! Chuck Bass? You could reply with how you are doing and what has been keeping you busy lately. Id sue my parents if I had a face like yours. If this doesn't get a response, it's sure to get a laugh. If you want, Ill give you a discount, baby. Because Ive been waiting for you all my life. Are you always this dumb, or are you making a special effort today? HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Were already married, remember?! Your lips are moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah.. Maybe this person really likes you, and they have a heart condition. Life is up to something. In reality, they are not cool, they are just rude. "See, I will finally make you smile.". You do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly. Real may recognize real, but real also recognizes thoughtless people who don't deserve your time. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait.