A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. Teachers: For teachers, the work is never done. Funny quotes Retirement quotes The rolling contract was designed to specifically take away some of that retirement talk and retirement issue. The police are the public and the public are the police; the police being only members of the public who are paid to give full time attention to duties which are incumbent on every citizen in the interests of community welfare and existence. If you look at what you dont have in life, youll never have enough. Did you hear about the policeman who tried to make love to a bacon slicer? Share this quote on facebook send via mail. more on this quote . Finally a police car comes up. Judge: I thought I said that I never wanted to see you in here again., Criminal: Thats what I kept telling the arresting officer, but he wouldnt listen.. We, your Friends and Brothers, You can get more money, but you cannot get more time. A personal congratulations and appreciation message to honor the police officer on his or her retirement and let them know that they will be truly missed for years to come. Join us on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest. ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. 3. The job you waited for for 50 years! Ward, Always have a plan, and belive in it. as He inspires you every day. To the People of the State of New York. 50 Retirement Quotes: Inspirational and Funny Retirement Sayings. My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind. From the movie: Judge Dredd. Have you been eating donuts?, 6. George Foreman, People may live as much retired from the world as they like, but sooner or later they find themselves debtor or creditor to some one. 18. The policewoman replied, Its square, and it has your picture on it. The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it, and handed it to the policewoman. These quotes are perfect to wish your retiring boss, teachers, doctors and co-workers. Funny retirement quotes for your boss. - Gail Sheehy. Will Rogers, "Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else." A personalized best wishes and inspirational quote is an ideal way to honor the retiring police officer who spent his or her lifetime protecting and serving the community. Cop: When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least., Driver: Youre wrong, officer. If a robber robs a house under renovation and accidentally leaves his handprint on wet cement. Chuck Knox, Without goals and plans to reach them, you are like a ship that has set sail with no destination. On what show do police officers solve crimes committed by garden gnomes? Junior Seau. To honor a retiring county sheriff, deputy, or other law enforcement officers or bid farewell as they embark on the next step of their professional career with this inspirational police quote and saying. Alan Lakein, 7 ways to bring your future into the present, Preparation for old age should begin not later than ones teens. However, the following funny retirement quotes for coworkers will help to make the retiring person smile by . Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Funny Retirement Quotes - Funny Quotes about Retirement to Make the Retiree Smiles. Funny quotes Retirement quotes The basic mission of Police is to PREVENT crime and disorder. Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! When caught speeding, an airman on leave tried to talk an officer out of giving him a ticket. Doug Larson, When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. Retirement is a time to reflect and enjoy your golden years. Thats what he is here for. Why couldnt police notify the family of the murdered baker? Congratulations! "This Ain't Goodbye" by Train. The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. After observing some erratic driving, he pulls the man over. The police caught a person erasing peoples criminal records. Dick Van Dyke, "Choose a work that you love and you won't have to work another day." "John Wick: "I'm workin' on it." - John Wick: Chapter 2. 26. Sandra Day O'Connor, "I wanted to have more time to play and reflect, but I find retirement more stressful than having a nice, steady job because I have to make decisions about where I want to be." 13 Funny Retirement Quotes to Write in Retirement Cards Lindsay Tigar Updated: Jan. 13, 2023 Retirement is a happy, celebratory time where one can finally reap the benefits of multi-decade. 37. Jeanne Moreau, Its paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesnt appeal to anyone. Funny Retirement Messages for Police Officers You've served and done your hard time, now you can enjoy freedom! Retirement memes: Sometimes the good old joke gets, well, old. If you give one of these to a colleague, friend, or family member that is looking forward to retirement, it will surely help you communicate your appreciation. Facts about financial success later in life! Here are a couple of one liners that you may be able to use: "I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.". Happy Retirement! Check out our funny police quotes selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our prints shops. So I went back to the charity shop and retrieved all her old clothes. What Are The Very Early Signs Of Dementia? Leadership peace war world. Soren Kierkegaard, To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization , and at present very few people have reached this level. When a good cop leaves the 'job' and retires to a better life, many are jealous, some are pleased and yet others, who may have already retired, wonder. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. Gainfully unemployed, very proud of it, too. I wish i can also retire right now so that i don t need to call anyone boss. 6. Charles Lamb. Best wishes! We tell em to get a life. Vince Lombardi, In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day. Unknown, Working people have a lot of bad habits, but the worst of those is work. Clarence Darrow, Money is something you got to make in case you dont die. Max Asnas, I dont feel old. So I do it three or four times a day." - Gene Perret "When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income" - Chi Chi Rodriguez Andy Rooney, I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave. 124 Retirement Quotes: Funny Retirement Quotes, Inspirational Retirement Quotes and More! Abe Lemons, "We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to workand then we retire. We have a simple and elegant solution for you! Their names are Bed and Couch. - Unknown We, the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. The officer says, Maam, there are warnings posted up and down this highway. Funny retirement sayings and quotes. The police are working tirelessly to catch him. 11. Some call it retirement; I call it bliss. Betty Sullivan, In retirement, I look for days off from my days off. Mason Cooley, Its paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesnt appeal to anyone. Andy Rooney, Work is the curse of the drinking classes. Oscar Wilde, The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the work I was best suited for was retirement. Unknown, Sometimes its hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment. Terri Guillemets, I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave. Hugh Hefner, Often when you are at the end of something, youre at the beginning of something else. Fred Rogers, Retirement is not in my vocabulary. 7. Did you hear about the two peanuts who walked through a bad neighborhood? 33. Are you married to a police officer? Unknown, "Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house." Some call it retirement. You must gain control over your money or the lack of it will forever control you. All those years of working and now you can get back to acting like a child again! Weve also compiled some police officer happy retirement messages and wishes if youre looking for an inscription with a little more flexibility. It was mugged. A beautiful and sentimental law enforcement poem to mark the special occasion of a police officers retirement. Are you a police officer? You've obviously missed it. Share this quote on Facebook Send via Mail . "I'm the police, and I'm here to arrest you. After retirement, a 30 minute walk is the best thing to do for your ailments! 45. 32. Funny retirement teacher retirement party police sarcastic police humor funny jokes facebook status it is what it is funny facebook status jobs sarcasm smart alec. and may you find joy and peace Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?, Me: You were bored and wanted some company?. - Greg Tamblyn " You gain two new best friends upon your retirement. The officer cuts him off, "Sir, you were going twice the speed limit, I'm going to issue a ticket." Insistent, the man pleads, "Please! vision, and trust you instill in us! Your tireless work ethic and Harry Vardon, Theres never enough time to do all the nothing you want. Cato, For many people, being asked to solve their own retirement savings problems is like being asked to build their own cars. Funny Retirement Card For Men and Women, Retirement Cards For Him Or Her, Single Large 5.5 x 8.5 Happy Retirement Cards For Women, Large Retirement Card For Coworker - Karto - You've Worked 32 $849 FREE delivery Wed, Feb 15 on $25 of items shipped by Amazon it has a blue light. George Burns Retirement life: seen it all, done it all - Can't remember most of it! They apply financial concepts in a general manner and include The real measure of your wealth is how much youd be worth if you lost all your money. "Half our life is spent trying to find . Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does. 2023 NewRetirement, Inc. All rights reserved. "Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. Some people can't wait for that Social Security or pension check to land in their mailboxes as they can head straight to the lake or mountains. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." - Gene Perret "I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. If you dont mind, it doesnt matter. Mark Twain, Retirement: no job, no stress, no pay! Unknown, Retire from work, but not from life. M.K. What is a police officers favorite type of tag? So I do it three or four times a day." To You was Entrusted the Honor of the Force. I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drive into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl. 13. What do you say when your friend wants to hear a really cool joke about the police from you? Now that leadership is gone. 32. Voltaire, The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. Gene Perret, "Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese." 55. George Burns, You dont stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing. So, he died of natural causes. This is because he was being tracked by the police for chop lifting. When I was 65, I still had pimples. George Burns, You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. C.S. Our top 50 retirement quotes, wishes and sayings are useful for retirement cards. 2) Old age, fragile bones, doctor visits, medical checkups and a weak bladder - are you still looking forward to retirement? Tricera-cops. Women go right on cooking.". Yo momma so fat she sat on the corner and the police came and said, "Break it up!". "Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did.". Then its time for my nap. Bob Hope, Gainfully unemployed, very proud of it, too. Charles Baxter, The best thing about retirement is not having to wear pants. Mark Hewer, You might be on the back nine of life, but its good to finish strong. Morton Shaevitz, Retired is being tired twice, Ive thought, the first tired of working, then tired of not. Richard Armour, Youve heard of the three ages of man: youth, middle age, and youre looking wonderful. Cardinal Spellman, Goodbye to 9 to 5. Betty White, "He who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement." Law Enforcement Officer Wife Support Law Enforcement Police Family Police Life Police Force Heroic Men Nypd Blue Gun Humor Definitely!