I asked for space but when we do talk for it to be loving. My depressed boyfriend broke up with me (7 ways to reconnect), https://www.webmd.com/depression/features/divorcing-depression#, a lack of relationships or withdrawal from previous relationships, negative feelings toward yourself and others, reduced emotional abilities, including having less verbal or nonverbal expressions, difficulty adjusting to social situations, a tendency toward showing fake emotions, such as pretending youre happy at a wedding, a loss of libido or a lack of interest in physical intimacy, persistent physical problems, such as being sick often. The most important thing you need to understand about breakups caused by depression is that they dont happen overnight. Even if i was still there as usual everyday for her while being separated by distance, her mental health slowly got worse. The first thing to do is to remember that not all relationships are perfect. Things will make much more sense when you regain emotional independence. And to think that this man was so in love with me just a month ago..i just feel like i don't know what to do or where we stand. We still see each other because of an organization we're both apart of btw. A relationship may be affected in many ways if one of the partners has some mental disorder. A few days ago my severely depressed boyfriend broke up with me claiming i am much better off without him ..He wants to fight this battle by himself.. He's on strong medications .seeing psychiatrist .so he is getting help.. at the moment he's got his hand full helping him self..quitting smoking and alcohol all at once while working full . We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Try to have a routine that will take care of both your emotional and mental health needs. Im so confused and hurt and dont know what to do. So focus on your pain rather than his. My boyfriend broke up with me because of depression is honestly not the only excuse dumpers use. What is way more important than your relationship is your partners health. I told her and made her find help and counseling, and so she went into a therapy that her college offer since March 1st, she was really looking forward to it, but it was for like 5 sessions and she told me it wasnt helpful to her, because it wasnt really psychologists who can prescribe medications. How are you feeling? It helps him focus on his issues and lets him not worry about yours. I also found out that he had stopped medication prior to the breakup because he felt like they werent working as he has started getting suicidal thoughts again (he has also written suicidal notes recently, however Im not sure if this is true or not). Copyright OptimistMinds 2023 | All Rights Reserved. I was going to move there definitely with her, after we both finish our studies. When your partner is suffering from depression, he or she does not have a control that could be exercised voluntarily to stop the symptoms. Im thankful for your time. If your partner is reluctant to communicate, please do not force him. To him, the relationship became suffocating and tedious, so he thought he needed to get rid of as many stressors as he could. . When he finally decides to break up, understandably many feelings will arise. We spent everyday focusing on our studies, our work, while building our love, our relashionship, looking forward to that future together where we would finally be able to be together. Taking a temporary job he dislikes. As a result, he concludes that hes better off on his own and that he needs to run away from people to focus on himself. And he cant adult right now. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Is he dating anyone or talking to other women? So if your boyfriend broke up with you because of depression, dont immediately assume that his only issue is his mental health. He has been depressed for a long time (pretty much our entire relationship which was 2.5yrs) and told me that after I had been gone travel nursing (1 solid month apart) he just spiraled so deep that he didnt even know if he loved me anymore (he said he just didnt feel anything about anything). He cant be because someone who leaves when youre struggling emotionally is in the relationship only for the good times. But now he thinks it is unfair to me; that he is unhappy, therefore can not make me happy. Sorry for this long long essay, but it makes me feel much better writing it down and sharing it. I sent it before I read this article anyways. He feels smothered by you and thinks he should stop feeling smothered before he can work on himself. We ended up being friends for a year, becoming best friends and he asked me out last July. Hello, my boyfriend broke up with me yesterday due to depression. Part of me still hopes he will come back when he sorts himself out but part of feels I should cut my losses and move on. Does he still talk to you or at least try to. They are also very critical about people around them and their own selves. From the following article My depressed boyfriend broke up with me, you will gather information about the criticality and consequences of having a depressed partner. Be Careful About Breaking Up When You're Depressed | by Karen Nimmo | On The Couch | Medium 500 Apologies, but something went wrong on our end. This should be your priority other wise your partner is going to make you anxious and force you to overinvest in him and the relationship. Mental illness alone is no excuse to break up with someone. You need to. So we broke up. When we broke up he told me the break up was neither our faults, that it was our trauma and he just couldnt meet my needs, that all he did was hurt me and I deserved better than him. Often, one partner may get so depressed he stops working, and that can lead to a cascade of other problems.. I am still grieving right now and will share my story. But if hes avoiding people, blaming himself, and missing out on sleep, then hes likely dealing with the real deal and needs a lot of understanding. They would have expressed how they felt and looked for solutions to work together despite their mental health illness. For that, the article will explain what depression is, how it impacts the persons life and relationship. Is it possible hell come back to me when hes feeling ready? Last night he sent me a message and said ever since he talked to his mother about the divorce it scares him and he cant marry me. He has not responded to any of my texts or phone messages. During the month of September I noticed there had been something off with him, he wasn't putting in effort to talk to me, see me etc. They express that the breakup is not their girlfriends fault and that they have some things to figure out on their own. Another thing that will help you cope is finding new hobbies and activities. I kid you not, I felt like my entire world shattered. Looks like we went through this horrible experience on the exact same day. She was always tired, feeling irritated, and i occupied a smaller and smaller space in her mind amongst all her problems and stressful and depressive thoughts, even though i tried my best to make her better and happier, but she felt more distant everyday, being colder and colder. This is hard to hear, but you need to be aware of that possibility, Amy. We talk or text everyday, but then his calls and text were getting father apart. Get active. Things between us were still the same as before, we were still loving each other and being happy, but i could tell that it was also slowly changing and getting different, and that she was changing too. We would talk and he said his son had noticed a change in him of not being happy as usual. Have cried for 12 hours straight. Its in your boyfriends nature to isolate himself and wallow in depression. Im not sure why the counselor suggested that, but your ex needs to focus on improving his mental health now. Always consult your doctor about your medical conditions. I made the decision to leave the relationship, I didnt want to, but I didnt want to add to his stress and having to worry about pleasing me. Tell them how you feel, but what is causing you to think that breaking up is the way to go. Thanks for your question. And if you want to discuss your breakup with us in private and want a faster, more detailed response, check out our coaching options. With them, you will build a great space of trust and support. He was so sweet and loving. If you know your boyfriend has been struggling with depression, you might have realized his behaviors have changed over time. Here are some ways you help your depressed boyfriend: 1. If you want him back then you're going to have to make a few changes. Share your thoughts below. Ever since I found out about this, Ive been more understanding of his issues & whenever I ask how hes doing, he doesnt like sharing his thoughts or concerns regarding his depression with anyone (not even family). Genetic inheritance may be a cause behind your partners depression which he has not got any control over. During extensive heated anger prone interactions, try to keep your cool. Shes going through a really really hard time and that affected how she felt about a lot of things in her life. Depression is such a condition which can seriously affect interpersonal relationships. Hell message you if he changes his mind. They might start to push people away, as a way to not hurt others, and that is when they might break up with their partners. But everything, all of that, vanished this Tuesday, 3 days ago. I obviously hope that we get back together after what she said, and looking back to what we had these past 3.5 years, she is truly a great person, we brought so much happinness to each other and loved each other from the bottom of our heart, we both really were looking forward to a future together. He suffers from depression, and I believe to also be bipolar. Aside from that, it is important to know if his depression was caused by a specific situation, or if it is something they are still struggling with because if that is the case, they might not go back until it is resolved. And I also deal with depression but have been getting help and I know how he feels in a way, but I know how to talk about feelings and when things bother me, he doesnt. People might also have a higher chance of getting depressed if they have been through a previous depressive episode, or they have a family history of depression. Theyre forgetting to mention why they fell out of love and what kind of behavior or attitude made it hard for them to redevelop their romantic feelings. Manage Settings Why did my depressed boyfriend break up with me? Other brain areas involved are the striatum ( responsible for reward system) and the insula (consciousness and self-awareness). Its just happening to me hes been depressed badly and been blocking and unblocking me pushing me away hes told me hes drinking to much and needs to love himself but he loves me he has now again blocked me. He said its been very difficult with his anxiety and depression and feels like he needs to talk to a therapist. He couldn't explain much to meit was like, he didn't even know why he was feeling like this. Everything started to go downhill starting January 2021. Staying One Step Ahead of UC. Step 1: Find the real reason for the breakup Think long and hard about what really went wrong in the relationship. Lately he's been starting to feel depressed again and a couple of weeks ago he broke up with me saying he needs some time to work on himself. 791. Boyfriend mention to me he didnt want to go to see his granddaughter because he didnt have the energy. By no means does this happen all the time as many relationships work even when both people in the relationship are depressed. We haven't talked since thenand its killing me. The following are some of the ways listed: Before you try reconnecting with your partner learn about what depression is and how its consequences lead to your breakup. Moreover, the content may be subjective, and not necessarily backed by research.Whilst, these personality articles have been written by subject expert psychologists the sole purpose of the article is to inform, educate and entertain, and cannot be substituted for professional opinion or advice.